A few years ago my daughter told me she was being treated for anxiety, and panic attacks. This hit me pretty hard because I am the kind of person who hates labels. It just seems to me that too many people except what others think about them as a way of explaining who they are. Since I was the dad (and I knew my daughter didn’t have a mental illness) I decided to research this label someone was trying to put on her.
So onto the computer I went, I read blog after blog trying to understand, so I would be able to m help my daughter. To my relief I found that it was not a mental illness at all (although it can be quite debilitating if not addressed). Come to find out, I realized that I had probably suffered from an anxiety disorder for most of my adult life, but just figured I was a little more sensitive, or high strung than most. To empower myself I explained it as me having been given more passion than most.
I have come to realize that anxiety is not all bad. Sometimes it lets you know something is wrong and compels you to take action. At other times it causes you to judge yourself, your thoughts, and your actions, as compared to what you think others would say or do, or be like in the same situation. Or worse yet, to envy the person who you perceive to have all the characteristics you lack.
As you can probably tell, this is not a very healthy way of thinking. Because the very nature of anxiety, and panic attacks is the mind spinning with false perceptions, that the mind sees as real, and will leave a person angry, confused, insecure and more than likely drained.(take heart, none of the above are fatal, or a curse you are doomed to repeat forever)
Anyways, the more blogs I read, the more I learned. The more I learned the more interested I became to write my own blog . I thought maybe it would help me to put some of my thoughts into words, and possibly help just one person who may think they are a freak, and all alone. The only obstacle that faced me was I would be doing this all from memory, so could I really still feel the passion enough to make it believable.
That question was answered in the amount of time it would take you to say “oh sh--!!” Right after choosing my user name came the space to put a picture of myself, or an avatar. Well to say the least this caused me some (looking back) unwarranted anxiety. The picture was completely out of the question. What if someone I know recognized me? What if people look at my picture and judge me without reading my post? Etc… The only thing I knew about an avatar was it was a pretty cool movie. So I looked it up in the dictionary. Avatar- The embodiment of a quality or concept. That is pretty neat, I could be the statue of the thinker, or for my adventurous side I could have a picture of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. With much thought, since I am looking for thoughts and comments from those further along than me, and since I am only looking to help that one person I have decided to add my picture. I figure it is the only quality that embodies the true concept of me. Love and peace to you all
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